Better jokes
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
Memes
Lets go i think corn
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. đ«
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didnât tell me via email.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
You guys are better than a triple-scoop ice cream cone... with sprinkles!
You look good now, but youâd look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
Whatâs better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"