Better jokes
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"
Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Who are you?
Yourself.
Would make any day better. If you don’t understand this then research “shaiden rouge.” She is a scientist who explains how this could improve somebody’s mental state.
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.