What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
Why is America better than Japan at rapping?
Because we're better at dropping bombs.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
