My favorite quote will always be, “Sketchy candy is better than no candy”

  • One of the thousands of missing children

My ex-wife still misses me… BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

They say masterbation is better with a dead arm

Apparently I ruined that funeral

Are you enjoying my yolks. I bet there making you crack up. If not, I better scrammble

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

A guy finds a genie…

He says, “I wish I was better at talking to women.”

“Poof!” the genie says, “You’re gay!”

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn’t hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

What’s better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Better call NASA and tell them there is only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?

Leather armor is made of hide.

(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

you

I’m better than you in every single way… I even have an extra chromosome.

Teacher: where’s you homework? Student: at home… Teacher: what’s it doing there? Student: having a better time than me.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one, “We’ll have to play better tomorrow. We’re playing in the cup!”

Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.

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