Being jokes
A black cat will be racist next.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
Power Puff Girls be like :
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Why did the Indian man eat a cow?
Because he wanted to be fat like one.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
I exist.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.