Being jokes
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because no one will call them daddy.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.
Me: What? Am I dying?
Doctor: No, your wife is.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."