Being jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.