Being jokes
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Shep
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
I think one of my dads might be gay.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
People trying to stop me from being depressed: “Just cheer up!”
Me: “WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!”
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: "To be continued."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.