Being jokes
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
He wanted to be wanted.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.