Being jokes
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Bro, just imagine being named Brynley. Couldn't be me.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Memes
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Imagine everyone being hoes.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Myself.
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.