Being jokes

If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.

If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.

An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.

What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

A quack head!

My mom must be a duck then...

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.

Couldn’t Be Me.

This is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 He needs help being spread across this website. Copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. Spread and save rifle.

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

He sings, he dances, be he also HE HE.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

Wordle be like (pt3)

Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.

STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛

FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚

MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚

YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚

One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.

The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha

What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?

Suck his big cock.

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.