Being jokes

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

What's a plus side to being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family size. T - T

Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

What an upside to being an orphan!

There's things called family-size bags.

We should stop being mean to orphans.

We should be cruel instead.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!