Being jokes

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.

I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

What is the best part of being an orphan?

Every bag of chips is family sized.

School's being safe.

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

There are women complaining about being r@ped.

JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)

What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.

Why is an orphan good at being naughty?

Because they don't have no one to tell them off.

What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?

What is the difference between a human being and a tree?

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.