Being jokes

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

Why do orphans play GTA?

They want to be wanted.

"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.