Being jokes

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati would want one too.

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.