Being jokes

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!

Wanna play dolls?

I can be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.

Why can't science be combined with religion?

Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.

What does Army stand for?

Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.

Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.

Followed by landing in deep shit.

Followed by being totally covered in sea men.

What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?

Leaving, walking.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"