Behavior jokes
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.
What was the name of the person who was mean?
The Canabully.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
What screams I’m insecure?