Behavior jokes
"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
The more they smile, the less they see.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations