Behavior jokes
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Memes
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Habit.
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIIIIDE!!!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations