Behavior jokes
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
Knock knock... Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise, mother fucker!
Why am I naughty?
Because I want to be....
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
Damn, y'all hit it hard with orphan jokes.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?
All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(
"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"
Fuck all y'all hoes!
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Isn't it ridiculous to hear INBRED WHITE TRASH RACISTS talking $#iT about OTHER "Cultures"?
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."