Behavior jokes

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Damn, y'all hit it hard with orphan jokes.

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?

A: To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because some kid was flossing!

What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?

Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar?

Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

Smoking? Telling lies?

Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

Isn't it ridiculous to hear INBRED WHITE TRASH RACISTS talking $#iT about OTHER "Cultures"?

Fuck all y'all hoes!

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

A retard walks into a bar.

Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!

Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584

"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"