Behavior jokes
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
You are annoying lolllllllll.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because he wanted to. :) :) :)
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."