Beauty jokes
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
Memes
Why did the girl π§ bring lipstick π to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So thatβs why you wear makeup?
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
You're so ugly your hairline ran away!
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.