What is burned dark and glued to the wall? A bad electrician
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
What do u call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7 A: a virgin
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip off.
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
your hairline is so bad the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun..... Then it dawned on me
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry ... So I threw a carrot at her
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
Jake Paul
