Bad jokes
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).