Once there was this Whichdoctor, he walked barefoot most of the time which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little and the food gave him bad breath. Which made him (wait for it), A Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won’t separate the whites from the colors…

You got a black cat. He was bad luck. Everyone left you and you comited suicide. What a CATastrophe.

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

“I think I feel a connection.”

What are so special about bullets ? :- They do work after they are fired

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, ¨Sorry, we don’t serve food here."

There were 3 guys in detetenion called zip willy pee and they were all being naughty the teacher came in and said zip down willy out pee in the corner

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence to children?

Because he only looks one way when crossing the road

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They can’t find home

Whats the difference between a baby and garlic bread. I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

Why was Hitler bad at math?

He could only count to nein.

A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool

What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they don’t know where home is.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump. She really hates it when I spit my food back out. Stephen Hawking

One day 2 Chinese with broken English go to America. When they arrive they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu they see “hot dog” but since there English is bad, they think its literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back there both surprised and one of them ask "What part of the dog did you get."

What is bad? A nut allergy

Wife:I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Dont worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

What do you call a stupid turtle?- retorted