Bad Jokes

girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

i feel bad for the people who died in 2001 those poor terrosists died doing their job.

Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.

Being an orphan isn't all bad on the bright side all your snacks are family sized

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

dentist: open up sir

me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea

dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth

me: :O ohhhh my bad

dentist : do u need help??

me: yep

dentist:...

me: ....

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"

people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage

Why are cats bad storytellers? -- Because they only have one tale.

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’