A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”

Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!

i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.

Doctor: I have good news and I have worse news Patient: Well what’s the bad news Doctor: You have one day left to live Patient: What news could possibly be worse Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you sense yesterday

Why are Americans so bad at chess

They lost 2 towers

Wanna here a joke

Feminism

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid

I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, “Wii!”

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.

She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi’s concerts… I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

Why do people on a wheelchair make bad jokes ? Because they are bad at stand up.

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?

A: Because BB-8 it ya it’s Bad:)

What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don’t mean it, so don’t get offended) What’s the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g

I know it’s really really really really really bad

Why is USA so bad at chess

Because they already lost two towers

you can’t say hitler was a bad person he did kill hitler after all

Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat~!

why is america so bad at chess,

because they already lost two towers