Why do horses 🐴 eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.

Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies. Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out. Wanna hear something that’s the worst? He comes back for seconds.

Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating

can a orphan go to a family Resturant?

Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says “I have some good news and bad news" so the patient says “What is the bad news?” the Doctor replies “I have had to amputate both your legs” so the patent says “Well what is the good news?” the Doctor replies "I have found someone to buy your slippers”…

There once was a brother and a sister so one night it’s storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I’m scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don’t tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks “what’s that?” And the boy replies with “that’s my pet snake” and the girl asks “can I pet it?” And the boy says “sure just don’t tell Mom” and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks “what happened” and the girl said “I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it’s head off”

Why are Americans so bad at Chess?

They’re missing two towers.

Principal: You’re being bad im gonna need to call your parents! Orphan: sits there sadly

I feel bad for Shopping Carts there allwaze being pushed around

It’s funny that everyone is depressed like I mean Bullys are depressed Nerds are depressed Bad girls/boys are depressed Kind humans are depressed

What’s white and can’t climb a tree?

A refrigerator

What is blue but smells like red paint?

  • Blue paint

A man wakes up from his operation and the doctor says ‘I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?’ The man says ‘bad’ so the doctor says ‘during the surgery your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man’ the man says ‘what’s the good then?’ And the doctor says ‘I’m picking her up at 7’

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