Bad jokes
Aren't I badly good?
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!
Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.