They say Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn’t cry

Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first? Jack: Bad News first Mother: I’m dying! Jack: Mother, I said bad news first. Mother: cries Jack was never seen again.

you want to know the bad thing? only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said… It’s a wood hulem

Why is North Korea so good at Geometry? Because they have a supreme ruler.

I was hit on by president kennedy, too bad i shot him down

What do you call a bad amputation?

A rip off.

Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?

A: Because BB-8 it ya it’s Bad:)

A woman walks into a doctor’s office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it’s her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they’re unlike anything he’s heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, ‘Well I have good news and bad news.’ The woman says, ‘I’ll hear the good news first please.’ The doctor replies ‘The good news is we’re naming a disease after you!’

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?

A chicken sees a salad( chicken Caesar salad )

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

What’s green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn’t see that one coming, don’t feel bad, they didn’t either

why is america bad at chess, we already lost two towers

The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?

A brrrrrrrr-d!

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, “Its a bad habit”

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I’ve ever made.

Then I realize “My daughter isn’t THAT bad…”

What did Gandalf say to Mario? You shell not pass!

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