Bad jokes
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.