Baby jokes
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.