What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Automobile Jokes
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"