Automobile jokes
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?
I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"