Automobile jokes
What is your car's name?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
What color is your Bugatti?
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Driver's License-By- watersharky Music Productions and Olivia Rodrigo-
I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else? And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone 'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.