Automobile jokes

What do you call a man who lost his car??

Carlos

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...

A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"

"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."

"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

She needs a flat surface cleaner.

What is a car?

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

What car does Hitler drive?

A Fuhrerri.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Tiresome is the quantification of tire.

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

To people who say that depression hits hard...

The car begs to disagree.

What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

I'm racist.

I don't like green cars.

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.

At least now I can have his phone he left.