Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?
Because they already ate their supper.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
