Ate jokes

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.

Jane ate her friend’s colon.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

Why did the orphan have an empty bowl?

Because they already ate their supper.

Why was 2 afraid of 1?

Because 7 ate 9.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

in can re;ate to this its always going through my mind

Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?

Sure, man. I. H. O. P.

Wait, you ate my pee!!!

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."