Ate jokes

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

Why is every number scared of 7?

Because 7 "ate" 9.

Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

Why can’t Asian people play baseball?

Why?

'Cause they ate the bat!

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?

They didn't because they ate it.

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10