I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
I ate a time-machine once, it was very time consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
i ate a clock yesterday. it was very time-consuming
Did you know cannabals ate kfc
Kentucky fried children
you know how 7 ate 9 why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9 11 🤣
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone
What do Children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings! Not funny, here’s another Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat
i ate to many temmie flakes... i guess i got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
I ate the emo emo no mi from one piece it gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day
Fatty told Skinyy "Do you have any food my stomach is empty and I haven't eaten" Skinny replied to Fatty "Well doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead"
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat~!
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
*Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman*
What would you rate this woman?
A 7
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
"when is the best time to commit suicide" ate a Glock in the morning
I'm actually against abortion Just go to the car wash and tell em you ate too much red pasta
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut. We got his EpiPen to help him when penaldo appeared because he heard the word PEN. He tried stealing the pen but I said "no pens for you". And “brentford”.He cried and ran away. Shame on you penaldo the fraud.
