Ass jokes
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
Hey, why did you copy me, you dumb-ass prince?
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Heil Kyle!
Why did you say not to?
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"