Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Asked Jokes
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Are there any girls here?”
The bartender says, “No, only women.”
The man then leaves.
My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.
The librarian then asked me to take it out.
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
