Asked jokes

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

He replied, " "

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!

Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.

A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

Ask me who Joe is.

Who is Joe?

JOE MAMA!

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"