Asked jokes

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?

What in the Robot!?

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Owl.

Owl who?

Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?

"I'm an orphan."

"I didn't ask."

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"