Asked jokes
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Knock knock. Who’s there? We ask the questions!!!!!!!!
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"