Asked jokes

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

What did the North Tower ask the South Tower?

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."

Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.

I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?

#Imbored

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

14 girls asked me to go out today!

I was in the ladies' toilets...