Asked jokes
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
ON BABY
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
"Hey, what does IDK mean?"
"I don't know."
"Okay, then I am going to ask someone else."
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"