Asked jokes

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"