Asked jokes

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"