Arrest

Arrest jokes

Penalty

    • I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

    That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

    Shame on you Penaldo!

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    • Vegan

    • Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.

    Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.

    Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?

    Kids: Yeah!

    Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!

    Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.

    *Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*

    Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.

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    • Momma

    • Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

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    • Baby

    • Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

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    • Arrest memes

    Crush

    • I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

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    • Jail

    • Things you never want to do in jail:

    - Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.

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    • Cop

    • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

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    • Suspicion

    • I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

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    • Suspicion

    • I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

    Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

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    • Police

    • What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

    “C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

    Snail

    • One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

    The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

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    • Cliff

    • COP: Are you high?

    ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*

    COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.

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    • Halloween

    • Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

    She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

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    • Boob

    • Get a calculator.

    Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

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