Arrest jokes

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.

He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

Why did the DJ go to jail?

Because he dropped the bass too hard!

Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.

Why was the belt placed under arrest?

For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣

Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.

Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for it to turn itself in.

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."