Arrest Jokes

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

Why did the DJ go to jail?

Because he dropped the bass too hard!

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.

Why was the belt placed under arrest?

For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣

Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because these jokes are not funny.

Here's why the chicken crossed the road...

The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.

The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.

The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)

I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.