Arrest jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."