Ares jokes

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.

Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"

John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.