Ares jokes
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."