Ares jokes
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
What are clowns good at?
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.