Ares jokes
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"
Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."
Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.