Ares jokes

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is!

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.

She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why are the Chinese bad at baseball? Because they already ate the bat!

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Why are Americans so bad at chess?

Because they lost two towers.

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.