Ares jokes

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.

Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Your hairline is so far back dinosaurs are seeing it.

I hate you, Gwen. You are a stupid idiot!

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

How many feet are in feet?

What song does an orphan hate?

"We Are Family."

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

Stroke victims are my heroes.

My favorite is Louis C.K.

You guys are idiots!

All of the jokes are just abuse.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.