Ares jokes

How many feet are in feet?

I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.

Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

All of the jokes are just abuse.

You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!

Bully: You are a piece of shit.

Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"

Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"

Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."

You guys are idiots!

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Stroke victims are my heroes.

My favorite is Louis C.K.

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Hi, how are you today?