Ares jokes
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.