Ares jokes

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

What do inner city schools and databases have in common?

Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

I don't think jokes are very funny.

Why do tables never need wheelchairs?

Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

Abdi and Tunde are real.

Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.

(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)

If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?

12, because fish don't drown.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"