Ares jokes
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.
1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why are there no Jamaicans on the moon?
Because there's no space jam.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.