Ares jokes

Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

How many cats are in the human body?

None, unless you're Asian.

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?

Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?

Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.

Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?

Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.

Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!

Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.

Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?

Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."

Americans are fat.

You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?

Cross-country.

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.

Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

Iron Man: Where are you from?

Thor: Asgard.

Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?