Ares jokes
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
Why are there no Jamaicans on the moon?
Because there's no space jam.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.